


Calming presence

by RaspberryDevil



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Falling In Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-08 04:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4291341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaspberryDevil/pseuds/RaspberryDevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>// “He buys me apple pie sometimes”, he replies and it takes Oikawa a moment to realise his attempt at a joke, not as long as Kuroo who immediately plays along, putting on a mask of faked hurt, asking him if this is all he is to him, after all these years they spend together, going trough good and bad times – when he replies with yes, Oikawa can't help but to laugh.<br/>“Well, Iwa-chan buys me milk bread so I kind of get behind that.”//</p><p>After leaving every constants in his life behind by studying in Tokyo and moving in with Kuroo, Oikawa was sure that he won't have to deal with getting attached to something. Or someone. He was wrong, but when he realises that, he isn't able to let Kenma go out of his life without telling him that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Constants

**Author's Note:**

> That's it, I'll never be able to recover from this ship. Slowly falling in love from Oikawa's perspective.

There used to be a lot of constants in his life.

Getting up in the morning, going to school with his childhood friend, volleyball practise, school – a normal life Oikawa thinks. In Tokyo he has less constants but it's refreshing, being able to control the pace. Living in a flat with Kuroo, he thinks that he could imagine worse (he still needs to properly thank Dachi one day for telling him that Kuroo searched for someone to move in with, even if he had meet him on accident that day).

All things considered, he never would have thought that anything special was going to happen, maybe unusual but nothing life changing after all merely anything was permanent now.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

“Tetsu?”, Oikawa asks carefully one Friday evening when he enters the kitchen, facing the back of his flatmate who doesn't even look up, just hums when he stirs the food in the pan, waiting for him to continue; not getting his whole attention irks the brunet but the curiosity why he does a proper meal outweighs this irritation.

“Who is that guy with the badly died hair on the sofa?”

“Kenma? He'll stay over the weekend. Don't mind him”, he says casually, looks trough the cupboard to get two cleaned plates, goes on with his business as if Oikawa had no reason to be confused.

“Kenma? Your childhood friend and Nekoma's setter?”

Oikawa tries to remember what he had told him about the younger one, that they knew each other since they were little and started playing volleyball together, that he is at first shy around strangers and needs a while to warm up to people, apparently with exception of Shouyou with whom he got along quiet well from the beginning.

“Yes. Haven't seen him since graduation so he stays over. Catching up. We'll probably end up watching T.V. and I don't mind you sitting with us but -”

“Don't worry I'll have to work on a paper.”

Oikawa already knows that they want to some time together on their own, so he saves him the struggle to come up with an excuse.

“I see.” _Thank you_ , his eyes seem to say though his grin covers it up and so Oikawa smiles as well.

“Be good children and don't stay up too long.”

“Of course.”

While Kuroo is on his way to the living room with full plates, Oikawa gets himself something to drink and a few snacks for later because he wasn't really lying about studying, and without some sweets and being dehydrated he won't last long.

When he goes to his room he looks at them a last time but neither pays him attention; it's almost adorable the way the are engrossed with each other, even though it's Kuroo who does the talking and Kenma merely listens.

 _I should pay Iwa-chan a visit again,_ are his last thoughts before his mind is consumed with Economics.

~

“Breakfast”, Oikawa chirps as soon as he sees the black hair sticking out of the bedroom, continues setting the table, something he rarely does when neither announces it the day before.

“Thank you”, Kuroo mumbles, blinks a moment before he shakes his head, chasing the thought that Oikawa is up to something away and goes to the bathroom.

“Are you taking him along for practise?”, Oikawa wants to know when Kuroo finished his morning routine, looking at him with curiosity and somehow Kuroo wonders if this breakfast is his apology for bringing up this topic in the first place.

“We have training today? I didn't know.”

“Liar”, Kenma mumbles when he leaves his room, looks like he still needs a few hours of sleep as he makes his way to the bathroom; Kuroo just snickers.

Even though Kenma should be angry about being deceived, he doesn't sound upset at all as if he had expected this; he probably knew though this shows how strong their bond is that he comes despite of this and maybe Oikawa is a bit envious.

“Come on, good breakfast is important before training, even if you probably won't keep it if you're seriously joining”, Oikawa says, trying to lighten the mood and failing at keeping from laughing when the sees the Kenma's face, grimacing and probably questioning his life choices.

The rest of their time is spent in comfortable silence.

~

“Do you want him to join this bad?”, Oikawa asks when they warm up, stretching and ignoring their vice-captain's glare who can't stand it when they talk during practise – or that they can talk at all, after all their warming-up can't be serious when they still manage to chatter.

“No, but I don't want to see him regretting his choices.”

“Aren't you a kind guy?”, Oikawa laughs, teasing him while they walk alongside during their laps.

“Always.”

Kenma does the warm-up with them at his own pace, but he ends up sitting on the bench during the rest of the practise and while he doesn't join, Kuroo is satisfied enough; Kenma has the phone in his hand but his gaze is focused on their play.

It's the little victory which counts.

* * *

Kenma comes over a week later as well and Oikawa wonders if he has just nothing to do or if he misses the other one's presence, a constance in his life (a lifeline). He does his homework with them so there is no reason to scold him for neglecting his work – not that Oikawa has really the right to do so – and maybe it helps that they already know the stuff and can assist him. Theoretically. Kenma is smart and even though he rolls his eyes when Kuroo tells Oikawa about the brain-thing, he doesn't really deny anything; Oikawa isn't sure but the younger one looks a bit embarrassed, being praised like that, and maybe it's kind of adorable.

Eventually, Oikawa and Kenma end up alone, the younger one bend over an algebra textbook while he reads over his own book because it's Kuroo's turn to go shopping and next to studying they don't really have any topic to discuss about apart from volleyball.

Yet the brunet gets easily bored and so he can't help but to turn to Kenma after all.

“So, did you decide whether you want to follow Tetsu or not?”

Oikawa tries to sound nonchalant but Kenma probably looked already past his mask, if the slight cease on his forehead is an indicator, and so the brunet ends up smiling, an automatic reaction.

“Not yet.”

“It would make him happy.”

It's stupid. Kenma knows him so of course he knows what pleases him and what not. Still, he nods.

“It would have made your ace happy as well if you had joined the same university”, he adds in a small voice, not looking at him – this was unexpected.

“He got a great scholarship, a better one than he'd get here. And it's still in Tokyo so we'll see each other over the week end.” _Who am I to take away this chance from him_ , Oikawa wants to say but can't and it doesn't seem to matter because Kenma knows, can probably relate to that, the fear of being the one to drag down his friend even if he knows that this is his decision and nobody else's.

“Maybe.”

Oikawa wonders why he doesn't push the subject. More than once he had been asked why he didn't try to get with his grades into the university Hajime would attend, but he never felt the need to explain himself in front of them, thought that they don't have to know and wonders why he wants to tell Kenma of all the people – but he doesn't ask so Oikawa remains silent.

“Who wants to make dinner”, a voice echoes after they hear a key turn and Oikawa is glad that the topic is ended like this, yet he can't make out what Kenma is thinking, maybe the same, maybe not.

“Why the question, I don't have a choice in this, or do I?”, Oikawa says when Kuroo steps in the room and grins.

“Nope.”

He can see from Kenma's expression that he didn't expect him to be able to cook so he grins a bit as well, assuring the younger one that he is pretty good.

This doesn't help because Kenma still pokes at his served food like it could be poisonous and Kuroo eating doesn't seem to ease this since he knows that his friend eats everything as long as it's not burnt. When he finally takes a bite, Oikawa denies that he watches his expression to see that he likes it – he also denies that his face lit up when Kenma happily clears the whole plate after noting that it's pretty decent food.

It's good for his pride though.

Kenma helps with the dishes afterwards, despite of Oikawa assuring him that there is no need to, that he can go on and watch this film with Kuroo they wanted to see, but Kuroo insist that they can't spoil Kenma, that even a guest should have some manners and help.

“Tetsu can be so stern, how did you live most of your childhood by his side?”, he says, but Kenma shrugs.

“He buys me apple pie sometimes”, he replies and it takes Oikawa a moment to realise his attempt at a joke, not as long as Kuroo who immediately plays along, putting on a mask of faked hurt, asking him if this is all he is to him, after all these years they spend together, going trough good and bad times – when he replies with yes, Oikawa can't help but to laugh.

“Well, Iwa-chan buys me milk bread so I kind of get behind that.”

“You're betraying me here, Oikawa, I though that we were on the same side.”

He is close to pouting and Kenma can't decide if he is slightly amused or embarrassed by their joking, the assured “We are, don't worry” and “Really? I was so worried that you'd replace me”, followed by “I'd never do this to you” which is accompanied by crocodile tears; he decides to break this false comedy by calling his friends name.

“Ah, right, the film. Want to join us?”

Kuroo turns to Oikawa who is amazed that the simple uttering of his names causes him to pay attention towards his friend, and this time there is no implied plea to leave them to themselves, a genuine offer; he declines again nevertheless.

“No, I'm fine. Maybe next time.”

Kuroo appears surprised, but when he looks at Kenma who seems like he expected this answer, his composure changes, just in time before the younger one can agree to this so-called next time.

“Don't nod, Kenma, he is going to drag you into the alien film which comes out next month otherwise”, Kuroo warns him, an information he gained from Hajime who already told him that there is no way that he will go with Oikawa this time on the première night because of an exam, but that they are such good flat- and teammates so that he probably won't mind.

“It's better than the action things you make me watch”, Oikawa replies with maybe not so much fake hurt than he likes to admit, but this expression vanishes soon when Kenma mentions the romcoms which are worse than the action ones.

“At least I'm not watching dramas.”

“Okay, this isn't debatable, I'm just going to bed. Good night. Don't stay up too late.”

“Yes, mother”, Kuroo replies with a smirk, satisfied that he could surprise Oikawa with the knowledge of this information; bless Iwaizumi, he is probably too good for the both of them.

(This time, Oikawa isn't sure whether he imagined the pair of eyes following him or not.)

* * *

Oikawa comes home too loud cursing and shouting and for a second he fears that something severe had happen. But then he merely sees Kuroo and Kenma sitting in front of the TV, playing... some game? Oikawa had never been one to play much, sometimes did when one brought their hand-held to school, but otherwise he is better off with volleyball.

“Oi, Oikawa, come here, I need to kick someone's ass at this”, Kuroo orders him to without looking away from the screen.

“Can't beat Kenma, hm?”, he teases, eyes shifting to Kenma and greeting him with a small smile, used to his presence in their apartment.

“Nobody does. Now come.”

“Fine fine.”

He chuckles, but his grin is soon wiped away from his face when Kuroo does kick his ass during more than one match like he promised.

“You're no fun to play with”, he mumbles, but Kuroo ignores it, is proud enough to beat at least the brunet – though when Kenma tells him that this wasn't really difficult, he retreats to the kitchen, making them dinner with fading pride.

“So, you do like games a lot”, Oikawa muses, watching how Kenma switches to single player, fascinated by his focus on the game.

It's not a big secret that he does, but a good topic for some small talk before Kuroo would come back. Besides he is a bit tired and so it is a nice change to get the younger one to talk for once.

“Hm, they are fun”, he says and Oikawa pauses for a second, looking at Kenma, but then he sighs and sinks back in the sofa, tired.

“Ah, I wish you would talk like that about volleyball as well.”

Kenma is confused, though that he did after playing against Shouyou for real.

“Your eyes are shining a bit more”, Oikawa explains after seeing his confused expression, but it only causes Kenma to cease his forehead.

“They are not.”

“Oh yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Any good game coming out soon?”

His eyes light up again and Oikawa can't help but to snicker; Kenma hits the pause button and throws a pillow at him.

“Kuroo, your friend is killing me”, the brunet calls out, almost laughing, trying to cover the expression on his face despite this statement because this is one of the more defined actions he was able to elicit Kenma.

“Tell him that I will hide the body but not clean the apartment afterwards”, he shouts back and Kenma can deny all he wants, but Oikawa sees the pleased smile on his lips.

“Mean, both of you.”

The laughter after that let Oikawa forget how tiring the day had been before.

* * *

“Ah, it's Kenma again. Are you here to keep me company?”, Oikawa greets Kenma when he spots him one the sofa as he enters the room, amused that it's the younger one who gets Kuroo's spare key (though he isn't better, giving his to Iwaizumi).

“Kuroo said he will be late”, Kenma explains without looking up from his game.

“As far as I know he won't come at all until morning. Group project. But you can stay. Sleep in Tetsu's bed. I bet it's better than the futon.”

Kenma wants to ask why he should stay in the first place, even though he actually did intend to ask for Oikawa's help concerning his homework; he doesn't get the chance to.

“So, I hope you don't have so much work to do because we two are going to take care of your hair right now”, he smiles, a fake one to cover up his enjoyment.

Oikawa thinks that this is the first time he looks him directly in his eyes and it irks him a bit that this is because of the shock, wide eyes looking at him in question.

“A pudding head is cute but I can't leave a friend's hair in such a mess”, he explains, sitting down next to him in order to get a glimpse of the work on the table Kenma had already spread out, estimating how much time they needed.

“But – ”

“No buts”, he waves him off, maybe a bit too harsh, so he adds, a bit softer, that “Kuroo bought you an apple pie.”

Kenma narrows his eyes, seems to think and this is when Oikawa knows that Kenma knows, that he figured out his – no Kuroo's – intention and he wonders if he should be mad at him for asking Oikawa to do this or thankful because he did receive some stars since only his tips are blond lately and yet he couldn't bring himself to dye it again; it took so long and was always messy.

“Fine”, he eventually agrees.

Oikawa tries his best but in the end he does end up complaining about the smell and the sting of the bleach in his eyes, but it was worth it, he realises, when Kenma's smiles and there is an amused glint in his eyes because Oikawa is kind of adorable when he acts like this (but neither does he say it out loud nor does he dwell on this thought in fear where this would lead him to.)

“Better?”, Oikawa wants to know, humming because he is kind of pleased with the work he did, slipping a few blond strand of hair between his fingers.

“Yes, thank you.”

It's when Kenma leaves for the bathroom, getting himself ready for the night that Oikawa has a quiet moment sitting on the sofa, not just being satisfied with his work but also that he could talk with Kenma for a bit, just spending time with him alone and observe how he acts.

And then it hits him.

He has a crush on his flatmates' best friend.

~

“Iwa-chan what am I going to do?”, he sighs exasperated on the phone while sitting at his desk, calling his best friend just after Kenma had gone to bed.

“Search for a new place to stay”, is his first reply, not helpful at all, doesn't really try to be, at least until Oikawa whines that he is too cruel.

“You don't know if he likes guys. And even if he doesn't, he can still just see a friend in you”, he sighs, is too tired to deal with Oikawa's love life but also realises that it must be important when he can't wait until the morning to tell him; Oikawa had always been reckless concerning his own sleep but he was always worried about his teammates getting enough sleep, especially when exams or assignments were close – and man, was Hajime drowning in them.

“Maybe he doesn't care about gender?”

Oikawa tries to sound hopeful and even though Hajime knows this, he stays realistic.

“You will never know until you ask him.”

He is _so_ screwed.

* * *

Oikawa waits another month and he wonders since when it had become so hard to pretend.

It has always been difficult to hide something in front of Kenma, however so far the younger one had never cared about any of it, ignored things because it wasn't his place to interfere with their life. But this time he seemed to realise that there is something different occupying his mind, so his gaze lingers a bit longer on Oikawa before he turns away, analysing eyes trying to take him apart; he doesn't succeed, almost does a few times though, so Oikawa realises that he can't wait any longer.

“Kenma”, he calls his name, thanks any deity that Kuroo is still sleeping in his room; balancing volleyball and his studies could be exhausting and he isn't as good at managing his time yet as Oikawa who is used to this since middle school.

“Hm?”

He looks up from his game, looking over to Oikawa who doesn't sit down next to him on the sofa, only because he detects that there is something else in his voice and feels that it might need his complete attention.

“Do you have any person you go out with at the moment?”

He narrows his eyes a bit, wondering where this is suddenly coming from, calculating if this is a serious question or if he wants to play with him.

“No.”

“Would you go out with me then?”

Kenma fidgets just a bit, not like he hadn't been asked out by a guy, but Oikawa can see the change in his composure.

“Ah you can think about it I don't need an answer right away.”

His smile is fake, so fake but Kenma can't bring himself to point it out at first, needs a moment to collect the courage, but when he thinks he does, a door opens.

“Ah, morning Tetsu. It's your turn for breakfast”, Oikawa turns, glad that Kuroo decided to wake up and grace them with his presence.

“Yeah”, he yawns, mumbles something about a stupid owl haunting his dreams and now having to make breakfast, feeling more tired than before.

Unfortunately, he is too sleepy to pick up the change between them and they use this time to, just for the time being, regain their composure.

* * *

Kenma doesn't come over for a month without talking to Kuroo about it and Oikawa wonders if this is his fault. Kuroo seems to think the same.

“Did you say anything weird? I mean it's nothing personal because he is easily irritated by strangers, so...”, he starts, not quite pleased with his phrasing because Oikawa shouldn't be a stranger any more, a friend he thought Kenma likes, but Oikawa just laughs, looking at him as if he said something weird.

“Don't be stupid, Tetsu. Maybe he is just busy with his new game.”

Kuroo raises his eyebrow at that, also the way he acts, not being able to look him in the eyes – he isn't as observant as his friends but he knows that something is up and he really would like to be enlighten about this.

“You know about his games.”

It's more like a question than a statement and from the way Oikawa winces slightly, he can see that he knows, still, he covers it up, just shrugs.

“He told me, the one you have to beat up those monsters, he was looking forward to it.”

“You do like Kenma”, Kuroo points out, less teasingly than he intended in the first place.

“Well he is reserved so it's hard to hate him.”

Kuroo almost says that this is not what he meant but he sees the own concern on Oikawa's face maybe even guilt and keeps quiet.

* * *

When Kenma comes over again, Oikawa stays in his room. Work kept him busy so he didn't think about a rejection, still, he isn't able to face him. There is a knock on his door and he is close to scream because he doesn't get this essay done but instead he tries to remain calm, his voice loud enough to hear.

“Tetsu, I'm busy.”

It's not his flatmate but Kenma opening the door, approaching him and so Oikawa's composure changes, his shoulder slumping and less hostile; he even manages a small smile.

“Did you finish your game?”, is his first question, doesn't want to think that Kenma came to reject him, though he is flattered that he does this in person and not per text; he wouldn't blame him if he wanted to avoid seeing him.

Kenma nods, but doesn't say anything else for a moment and Oikawa feels like he might vomit any seconds, tries to say something, asking why he is here or maybe if he thought about it, just anything; thankfully, Kenma interrupts the silence.

“Why me?”

“Huh?”

Oikawa is more alert now, especially after realising that Kenma is directly looking at him, not averting his eyes.

“Why would you date me?”, he repeats, this time the whole phrase.

“I enjoy your company and wouldn't mind to get to know more about you. Also you're cute.”

Saying it out loud doesn't feel wrong but different and so he lowers his gaze, a blush spreading on his face which equals the one on Kenma's cheeks.

“Fine.”

“Huh.”

“I wouldn't mind”, he mumbles, arm behinds his back and hands vanishing in the pockets.

“Really?”

He almost can't believe this, but looking at Kenma who nods, his whole body language telling him that he might be embarrassed but was not lying, he realises that this is not a dream.

“Can I kiss you then or...?”

“Yes.”

Oikawa stands up and when they are standing face to face he notes that there are at least ten centimetre of height difference and he wonders if he should bend down or if Kenma wants to stand on his tip-toes or if he would feel offended and why does he think so much about a simple kiss?

Eventually, Kenma's hands rest on his shoulders and they push him lightly down so he bends forward to meet the other one's lips.

It's shorts, nothing more than a brush of two lips but they still separate soon enough, embarrassed, and Kenma hides his face against his shirt so that he doesn't have to look at him. It's not Oikawa's first kiss but he is still nervous and just glad that they didn't knock each other down, his arm having found its way around Kenma's waist to hold him in place without problem.

The thought that two talented setter wouldn't manage a simply kiss causes him to laugh and maybe it's the stress of university which bottled up as well, his studies and volleyball, but he can't help laughing louder than he should. And really, he should stop because Kenma is probably hating him now and will go because he thinks he is crazy but instead there is a soft smile on his lips – at least until Oikawa can't stop starring and he drops it out of confusion.

“No no, do it again”, Oikawa says, kissing the corner of his lips when Kenma realises what he meant, telling him that he shouldn't care about such a small thing, however he just says that it really suits him; he gets aware of the hands on his hips shortly after and the awkwardness is back.

“Ah, right, do you want to play or talk to Kuroo? I still have work”, Oikawa offers, pulling his arm away and taking a step back to give both of the some room.

“Yes.”

He looks relived but so is Oikawa, not used to such a situation, or more importantly the embarrassment he feels, new to these kind of feelings as not even the time with any girlfriend had been that way, or any confession of other girls and occasional boys (still, the love for them or any other crush was still legit and knowing that it can still vary from person to person makes him wonder how his relationship with Kenma would develop).

Kenma hesitates a second, leaving a short peck against his cheek, standing on his tiptoes, before he flees the scene with a small blush, leaving a stunned Oikawa behind.

“Ahhh, he is too cute”, he mumbles, but then he seems to pull himself together and gets back to his table, reaching for his phone.

 

_Sender: Oikawa_

_Subject: <3 _

_0X/05 15:43_

_He said yes!!!!_

 

_Sender: Iwa-chan_

_Subject: Re: <3 _

_0X/05 15:44_

_Congratulations. Looks like you don't need a second apartment_

 

_Sender: Oikawa_

_Subject: Re: <3 _

_0X/05 15:46_

_Just to clarify, I would have been happy to call you my roommate_ _☆⌒( ゝ。∂_ _)_

 

_Sender: Iwa-chan_

_Subject: Re: <3 _

_0X/05 15:48_

_I'm not so sure. But seriously, congrats_

 

He giggles and this might be the worst moment because Kuroo enters his room without knocking and when Oikawa turns around he sees his rather confused expression, conflicted whether he wants to say something or not; he settles for the last option.

“We want to order something. Same as usual?”

“Yes.”

He nods before he leaves the room, mumbling something of 'Kenma humming and now this' and really, Oikawa could care less because he never had been happier after the time of his graduation.

 

* * *

 

Since Oikawa was living in Tokyo, a lot of things changed, despite of the contact to his old team and peer, being able to chose his own pace.

Kenma will be a new constance in his life but he won't be bothered by that, quite contrary actually, Oikawa will embrace it and enjoy every minute spending together with him.


	2. Ardour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hqrarepairweekend Day 04, ardour! // Normally he would try to escape these thoughts by busying himself with games or anything involving not thinking, on worse days even their coach's harsh practise regime. The reason why he doesn't sits next to him, a current constant he doesn't want to miss.

Kenma hasn't told Shouyou yet.

He knows that he sort of should, that he is his friend and deserves to know, but despite of his good nature, Kenma is scared, worried that he would reject him, be angry because how _could he date the grand king, this is not possible._ It's the same fear which keeps him from properly telling Kuroo, which is less rational and he can't really understand his own emotions any more.

“What are you thinking about?”, Oikawa wants to know, sitting next to him on the sofa, nuzzling his neck; had he been this deep in thought when Oikawa paused the DVD to turn to him? Apparently.

“Shouyou.”

He doesn't like to lie because Oikawa would find out and anyway, it's not like he has any need to do this in the first place, even though he also doesn't want to tell the whole truth, so this has to be enough.

“So you think about someone else when we're watching a film on our date night, when it took some time to find a day when Kuroo is not at home?”, he jokes, kissing his neck when Kenma told him that he is stupid again.

“You're right, he is no competition.”

“Probably not”, Kenma replies and there is the tiniest smile on his lips, seeing how easy it is to humour his boyfriend who enjoys their little talks.

“Just probably, hm? Do I need to prove something again?”

Oikawa wraps an arm around Kenma's waist, waits a bit in case he doesn't appreciate the gesture before he pulls him closer; Oikawa is warm, Kenma notes, a surprise, after all he is often cold, teasing people by putting his cold hands on their skin – well, it could be useful during hot summers and in cold winters they could cuddle until both of them were warm.

“Kenma”, he suddenly mumbles, says nothing else even though he didn't press play again, giving them the possibility to talk without sudden heartbreaking scenes dragging their attention.

 _Oh_ , Kenma thinks, _he is in the mood._

Kenma is passionate about a lot of things apart from video games, even if other's don't want to believe this (Kuroo does, but he was stupid about the things he actually enjoyed, like watching Shouyou's matches, _as if_ ). He is rather passionate about his friends, even though he might not show it like Taketora who would jump in front of anyone who would make fun of their first years. He cares about them in his own way and the fact that there are even more people to love than he first thought was kind of amazing.

He had thought that Kuroo is enough, that the friendship they have is all the love he needs, next to the one of his mother. But then there had been Yaku as well as Kai Kuroo introduced him to, until he gradually warmed up to the volleyball team in their second year. It was enough, and then there was Shouyou, the personification of the sun, awaking his passion for volleyball, something he didn't know he even possessed.

And Oikawa.

Falling for him was a slow but really nice process. Now, from time to time, he thinks that he would be enough, that he just needs him, but then he remembers the other one's and yet he still decides that, as much as he loves them, it was fine if each of them would go their own way as long as Tooru would stay with him.

He wonders if this makes him a bad person.

But he doesn't dwell long on these thoughts, both of them, because after a month being in a relationship with Oikawa, kissing him is something he is rather eager about as well, the way he makes him feel warm all over, excited.

It's a good thing that Kuroo is out, so he sits on his lap, allows the two arms wrapped around his waist; it's a nice view he has there, looking down at him.

“Hey”, Oikawa whispers.

“Hey”, Kenma whispers back.

Oikawa laughs, rubs their nose together and Kenma could melt right there and then, shifting so that their lips could meet, dragging a satisfied hum with him when he pulls away.

“The film is almost over, we could catch the rest with a bit food and...”, Oikawa trails off, busying himself with leaving kisses along his neck, smiling against the skin.

“Fine.”

* * *

 

Kenma is staying over at Oikawa's and Kuroo's shared apartment more often than usual the last few days, the decision about which university to attend getting closer and closer, making him more nervous. It's not like he doesn't want to follow Kuroo to the same school again, especially now that his boyfriend also attends it, but he is also not sure if this university will take him.

“You're smart, so you shouldn't be worried about not getting a scholarship. We can help you”, Oikawa tells him, surprisingly, because Kenma had been sure that even he would drag him to the same university if he could.

“Do you know what you want to study?”, he continues, after all the topic had never come up before in this context.

Kenma hums.

He has been for a while and while he hasn't been completely sure, Kuroo being the first one to listen to him and telling him that _it is not stupid, don't look at me I know that you were thinking this without me telling that,_ he is truly considering it, that he could actually achieve this.

“Psychology”, he admits, tries to look at Oikawa to show that this isn't just a simple thought, but in the end he is still too embarrassed by admitting it that he turns away again.

“That's a big step. You probably won't have much time for volleyball.”

It's the only thing Oikawa mentions and somehow Kenma should have expected this.

“Probably.”

He sounds more disappointed than really mad and he can understand Oikawa, after all this sport is really important to him – but while Kenma came to enjoy it, he can't imagine doing it after high school, at least not on a regular basis.

“You know, one word from you and I'll study with you”, he changes the topic, realising that it is not fair of him to talk like that, being disappointed, because this is Kenma's choice after all and he shouldn't feel guilty for this.

“Yeah, I know. Thank you.”

Oikawa makes him feel warm again all over and he has no idea how to deal with that; in the end he smiles and judging by the beam Oikawa send him, it was the right thing to do.

* * *

He had talked with Hajime. Kenma isn't really sure which thoughts lead him to the conclusion that getting his opinion might help him, but he is grateful that the other one doesn't question his sudden call and replies after listening.

Mostly it's just the repetition of things he already heard, but there is one new thing Hajime makes him consider, a rather silly idea, actually just to lighten the mood. Yet the thought of Oikawa's and Kuroo's surprised expression when they see him during a match against Iwaizumi's university as his setter is almost enough to really consider attending this university.

After the talk Kenma had spend the whole night restless.

He doesn't like making big plans, had always gone from situation to situation and more often than not relied on Kuroo if everything was too much. But he had to make this decision for himself. Oikawa realises that he didn't get much sleep when he sees him, but doesn't force him to any talk and does work for his classes in the living room instead.

Kenma wonders if he even wants to or rather should search for a job; they would accept his decision but also say that's a waste of his abilities. Normally he would try to escape these thoughts by busying himself with games or anything involving not thinking, on worse days even their coach's harsh practise regime. The reason why he doesn't sits next to him, a current constant he doesn't want to miss.

On a whim, he takes his phone, inching closer to Oikawa, head leaning against his shoulder and without hesitating a second, takes a photo of them.

“Oh, what is that for? You never take selfies of us. And now when I'm studying? We should do a proper one.”

Kenma almost tells him that this is not true, that he has enough shots of a sleeping or concentrated Tooru on his phone, but he keeps this to himself, too embarrassed about his love for him and in denial.

“Just felt like it.”

It's not a lie. Oikawa hums, thumb brushing along his neck for a moment before he withdraws and goes back to his studies.

Meanwhile Kenma scrolls trough his timeline on twitter, sees the few people of Karasuno he follows being excited about the next weekend and the friendly battle of the heap they will have, sees himself mentioned in one post, Hinata's declaration that he will show him a new technique and should look forward to it. It's amazing how excited he can be, close to his third year.

**@Shouyou_theGiant I'm looking forward to it as well.**

There are a few sudden posts, about Lev being surprised that even Kenma is fired up while Kuroo just simply reblogs the tweet; Kenma sighs and writes a reply towards Lev, that he is obviously looking forward and that he shouldn't be stupid about it

He sends another short text directed at Hinata.

**@Shouyou_theGiant Go back studying**

He laughs lightly, amused about his friend's eagerness, but his smile drops when Hinata tells him that he can be glad about being so smart and he can't imagine how hard his third year is going to be; he deserves a break when he is still in his second one without it showing too negatively.

Kenma looks at Oikawa, remembers how busy he and Kuroo get, about how guilty every break feels, but how much they need it without breaking down.

He could do it now.

It's a sudden idea which appears, but Oikawa is busy with his books after all, so he uses the sudden confidence and posts another tweet, this time with the recent taken photo attached to it.

**@Shouyou_theGiant Even my boyfriend is studying, take a good example**

He exhales a deep breath, turning to his left, doesn't even want to look at the messages of his phone as soon as the first shocked silence would be replaced by tweets. Kenma gives Oikawa who is oblivious to his doing a quick kiss, before he hops off the sofa and goes to Oikawa's room; he forgot that Kuroo decided to study at home.

Just as he shuts the door behind him, another one opens, followed a yelp and “how dare you seduce my childhood friend without telling me”. It's a farce, he knows, because Kuroo had been aware that there had been something going on between them, waiting for them to open up, not wanting to force anything, but it was still amusing.

His phone rings, and by the tune which Kuroo once picked, he immediately knows who it is; he takes another deep breath.

( _It's Shoyou, he won't leave me, no need to worry_.)

“Hey”, he answers, curls up on Oikawa's bed with his back to the door and phone close to his ear.

“Why didn't you tell me?”, is the immediate question which hits him.

“I -”

“Okay, tell me everything, I want to know every little detail.”

There is a short pause, rustling, hushed shouts and then a quietly added “apart from, you know, intimate stuff.”

It takes Kenma a second to realise it and even when he does, he still needs to ask, to make sure that he isn't wrong about it.

“You're not mad?”

“Mad that you not told me you were dating someone? Maybe. But just a little”, Hinata admits, laughing lighlty when Kenma stresses that it is Tooru they are talking about.

“I know and I really can't understand how you would date someone with a personality like his but you're better at reading people than I am so there must be something about him. Not like I know how he is outside of volleyball, I shouldn't judge.” _I can't understand why someone like him would date you_ , is what Kenma feared to hear, but he should have known better, that there was no way that his friend would consider Oikawa too good for him.

But he is, Tooru is too good and he loves him so much and he doesn't even know if he should have done this, uploading his photo, because even if his profile is private, maybe he doesn't want to be known as his boyfriend – Hinata's voice drags him back to reality before his thoughts can go further, deeper into a territory which scares him.

“Kenma, you still there?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“It's fine, now tell me”, he says cheerfully and Kenma is close to spill everything when he hears his friend's voice, about everything, but he feels vunerable doing so in front of everyone who isn't Kuroo, so he changes the topic.

“Aren't you studying with the other's?”

“This can wait.”

“You need to keep up your grades. Or do you want to miss any camps again?”

“Fine, but call me in the evening again.”

Hinata is reluctant to hang up, but he gives in nevertheless and Kenma is glad for that, a smile tugging at his lips about the pout he can almost hear.

“Okay.”

~

He is playing on his phone when the door opens and Oikawa steps inside, looking far too happy for someon who just ended a study session and Kenma wonders why, but he feels restless under his stare, so he turns away. Oikawa waits a moment before he calls his name, slowly approaching him, crawling on the bed, wrapping his arms around him from behind and nuzzling his neck. He loves this moments when Oikawa would drop anything, the mask of confidence, fake smiles and mean remarks, even the playfulness, stripping them off like the clothes just a few minutes later.

“You admitted it”, he whispers against his neck, loud enough to be heard but not clear enough for Kenma to understand.

“Huh?”

“That we're together”, he clarifies, humming when Kenma voices how he thought that Oikawa didn't care about it, since this is what he told him after their first date, to make sure not to pressure him.

“I don't. But it still makes me happy.”

Kenma asks himself if his cheeks are as red as he thinks they are, feeling warm considering how happy he sounds.

“Kenma”, he mumbles, loosening his grip so that the other one can turn and look at his face; Kenma's gaze catches his lips at first, shining from licking them out of excitement, before he shifts it up to his eyes, curiosity bigger than confusion, hearing his own name leaving Oikawa's lips another time.

“Kenma.”

Until it clicks, and with a small smile he replies in the same way.

“Tooru.”

It's enough, how Oikawa's eyes lit up and he bends down, small kisses left along Kenma's jaw, his neck, every free inch these pair of lips can reach and it's always overwhelming but he loves Tooru so much, craves his closeness. And so they lie together like this for a moment, just a few minutes, cherishing the moment spent together.

Kenma doesn't call Hinata that day.

He is busy drawing circles on Oikawa's back with his fingers, feeling how he relaxes under his touch, allowing himself to drift off like this, knowing that Kenma would lie next to him when he wakes up in the morning, even though they never slept in the same bed before.

Because admitting their relationship to their closest friends erases a barrier between them and even though there are still a few, since they haven't gone past kissing and the thought of eventually sleeping with each other one day is new, Oikawa is content with the pace of the development.

And Kenma watches him with fondness as well as growing passion, and in these quiet minutes he is sure that he only needs Oikawa to love him.

(It's fine to be selfish like that once in a while, he decides.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this story, I just grew very fond of this ship.

**Author's Note:**

> The only reason why I finished this was the haikyuuarepairweekend because I wanted to write an established relationship Oiken story and thought that a continuation to this story would be nice. Obviously I had to finish this one first, so here we are. Second chapter will be posted on August the 2nd, until then see you next time.


End file.
